We all know what is approaching fast from right around the corner ,with pink shoes and pink scarf , and you’re ex boyfriends pink shirt that you hate so much and I bet you he’s got a pink bucket full of cheesy Facebook posts that will make you roll your eyes from out of your sockets, and a magic trick that’ll make the mall look like an open invitation to join a Satanic cult than stick around for ONE MORE SECOND.
Yes, I just used capital letters to insinuate the fact that I’m screaming to your face.
Am I overreacting? Maybe.
Do I care? Definitely not.
Back to the main point of this article of mine, which you clicked on because you are a sad little nugget who needs a little lovin’ and definitely some advice from an independent woman with big goals and no time for men (if you see me, give me a hug) , so let’s get to it.
Number #1 Throw a party
And obviously not any kind of party. It has to be a pity party. Because no party was ever really worth remembering if crying was not involved.
What you’ll need for this specific themed party is: ice cream, alcohol, tissues, The Notebook playing non stop on your computer and some friends. But the friends part is optional, so if you have no friends, don’t worry, I got you.
Number #2 Go to the movies
Fifty Shades Darker aka the sequel of Fifty Shades of Grey comes out, so go buy yourself a ticket, and go see why choosing the single life was the best damn decision you ever made.
But before you do, stop by the church to pray that you won’t be alone for two hours with some middle aged creepers. And just in case God’s not listening to your little prayer at that exact moment in time, grab yourself some pepper spray, just to be safe.
Number #3 Shopping
Since you don’t have to worry about spending half your food money on gifts that are ten times more expensive than they usually are on the other 364 days of the year, you can treat yourself.
Go to McDonalds or KFC or maybe both, and don’t worry about getting fat, you’re already spending Valentine’s Day alone. What’s the worse that could happen?
Number #4 Buy a pet
Nobody will ever love you as much as a dog will. But just because you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone doesn’t necessarily mean that no one loves you, it just probably means you’re ugly. But dogs don’t care about that either, they just care about how many pairs of shoes you have for them to chew on.
Number #5 Try something new
It doesn’t matter if it is jumping out of an airplane or trying a new type of food. The point is to get out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there. That’s the place where the magic happens.
#6 Be productive
Finish your essay, study for that upcoming exam, do your laundry, try out for that job you want. Basically tackle everything you’ve been ignoring. There is not better feeling than the satisfaction of a finished task.
#7 Have a date with yourself
Cook your favorite meal while jamming to your favorite music, grab a good book and a glass of wine and just go into your own little world for a while. Make a list of all the things you want to achieve in the next few months, be honest with yourself. Most importantly, learn to love your own company.